The Non-Expert

Cual es la diferencia entre un experto y un no experto:

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week John Warner explains how to get the raise you deserve using the only appropriate method for today’s terror-ific world.

Question: How do I get a raise? – Terry Garner

Answer: In today’s uncertain world, anxiety over asking for a raise is certainly understandable. A nation at war demands sacrifice from its citizens, and as President Bush has so capably demonstrated with his tax cuts, sometimes that sacrifice comes in the form of income redistribution to the wealthy. Without this extra money, the well-off could not afford things like spa vacations, where benefits can then trickle down to the service sector, like that $2 tip after you perform a kelp massage on the slack, mottled flesh of one of our overstressed captains of industry.

First, a word of warning. As a lower-level clerical type, an increase in your salary will naturally affect the company’s bottom line in a decidedly un-patriotic way, so, before you really go trying to negotiate a raise, you need to ask yourself: Do I love Saddam Hussein, or Do I support America’s war on terror.


The Morning News - The Non-Expert: Raises & Terror